Jack’s Present

This is a revised Christmas story written a few years ago.

Jack’s Present

Emily’s mum had helped her stir the special ingredients of oats and sparkling gold glitter and measured them into 15 envelopes.
On the front of each envelope were the instructions:

‘Sprinkle this reindeer food outside tonight.
The moonlight will make it sparkle bright.

Millie as a puppy

As the reindeer fly and roam,
this will guide them to your home.’

Emily had signed each one ‘Love Emily’.
She proudly gave them to her friends at Day Care.
Jack put his away safely.

Jack and his brother, Mackenzie, watched Mum pack their case. Jack made sure that his envelope from Emily was in his bag. They were driving to their grandparents and Millie’s house for Christmas. Santa must know where to find them.

Christmas Eve, Jack and Mackenzie left out a bottle of beer and some biscuits for Santa. Then they sprinkled Jack’s reindeer food outside before hopping into bed to have a story.

Whilst the children slept, Millie, the puppy, thought the reindeer food was put out in the courtyard for her, so she ate it all up.

Luckily Santa still managed to find his way.

The next morning Jack and Mackenzie discovered their bulging stockings and ran to show their parents.

Everyone decided to take Millie for her walk before breakfast.

They had to wait while she searched for a special spot under a callistemon tree.

‘How come Millie’s poo is glittering?’ asked Jack.

‘Wow, you’re right,’ chuckled Grandpa, as he scooped it into a bag.

‘It’s her way of wishing everyone a happy Christmas!’

Mackenzie laughed. ‘Millie’s a clever dog!’

‘What a treat! But remember, my treasures,

all that glitters is not gold!’ said Grandpa.

Mackenzie and Jack

Computer troubles overcome:

Having been off the air for some time, I forgot to mention that my beloved contacted a firm to help me resolve my computer problems.

MacKeepers are a firm who assist Apple owners resolve their problems remotely. I had lost use of my iPhotos and not being resourceful and wanting to go out of my way, instead found other things to keep me occupied, rather than fix the problem. The first man to help lived in the Ukraine. By paying rather a lot, I now have oversight of my computer without having to worry about new bugs invading. The first help took 13 hours to rectify the 2052 problems and freed up some GBs. It is now in the regular helpful hands of MacKeepers who are also at the end of the telephone if I have questions or problems. This is a wonderful service and I really am grateful to have the computer back. Of course there are lessons for me to learn to help keep my computer healthy. I have utilised this telephone service once and the man was very patient and talked me through, seeing what was on my screen he could see what the problem was.

The relief is enormous. I hadn’t realised just how much it was bothering me subconsciously.

Here are a few more photos, left over from my last post of our visit to Arthurs Seat, Mornington Peninsula.

Tree surfing

One of the Mazes at Enchanted Adventure Garden

The Fairy Garden

Cherio from M & J

New words, for all of you:

Orstraylian
> The following are results from an OZ-words Competition
> where entrants were asked to take an Australian word,
> alter it by one letter only, and supply a witty definition.
>Clearly, you need to be an Aussie to understand, but I hope you will have a go, even without an    >Aussie background. Good luck! Am including a loose translation of colloquial words so you may all enjoy the humour.
>
> Billabonk: to make passionate love beside a waterhole

(Billabong: a water hole. Bonk: to have sex).
>
> Bludgie: a partner who doesn’t work, but is kept as a pet

(Budgie: a pet bird. Bludge: a lazy person).
>
> Dodgeridoo: a fake indigenous artefact

(Didgeridoo: an Aboriginal wind instrument. Dodgy: tricky).
>
> Fair drinkum: good-quality Aussie wine

(Dinkum: true, honest).
>
> Flatypus: a cat that has been run over by a vehicle

(Platypus: Australian, amphibious, egg-laying monotreme).
>
> Mateshit: all your flat mate’s belongings, lying strewn around the floor

(mate: friend. Shit: has many meanings, in this case, I think it speaks for itself).
>
> Yabble: the unintelligible language of Australian freshwater crustaceans

(Yabbie: Australian freshwater crustacean. Gabble: unintelligible language).
>
> Bushwanker: a pretentious drongo, who reckons he’s above average when it comes to handling himself in the scrub

(Bushwalker: someone who walks in the bush. Wanker: to maintain an illusion, deceive oneself or masturbate).
>
> Crackie-daks: ‘hipster’ tracksuit pants.

(Crack: backside fissure. Daks: tracksuit pants).

Holiday Fun:

One handed! At least they are tall enough now, not to be lifted to reach.

 

Stamp collecting will be a thing of the past, since letter writing is going out of fashion.

Mackenzie’s robotic dragon

Dog in a mummy’s costume

Jack’s random shape

 

Mackenzie is determined to read all of Roald Dahl’s books. He completed ‘Matilda’ in two days. I’ve already been beaten at chess!

Happy Holidays!

 

Tying up ends:

Olive the cat now complete.

For the young at heart

Acer now planted

Keeping up with new technology:

A dear friend sent me this helpful e-mail. I just thought it might appeal to a few of you who are beginning to age.

USB-stick for seniors
Soon it will be compulsory for the elderly to not only carry their ID with them, but also their insurance papers, their list of medication and a compact version of their medical history, their views about resuscitation after a cardiac arrest etc, etc.

So, when an older person wants to go out he or she will need to carry a lot of paperwork!!

That is why there has been developed a special USB stick for seniors.
Have a look – – – – – –
Available soon, but only on prescription!

This way you always have your USB handy….

Please scroll down:

I know what Gerard is going to say. He’ll have to think of somewhere else to keep his!! 🙂

 

For those who love dogs:

This was sent by e-mail, another soft option for Sunday!

Points to ponder:

This is another e-mail that I thought some of you might enjoy. This is only sent to those believed to have the mental capacity to comprehend the meaning of these statements.            It requires a deep thinker to grasp these most important facts of life.

Points to Ponder

Number 9 – Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8 – Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6 – Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes make him a sandwich.

Number 5 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 3 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2 – In the 60’s, people took drugs to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take antidepressants to make it normal.

Number 1 – Life is like a jar of chilli chutney. What you enjoy today might burn your arse tomorrow.

…and as someone recently said to me: Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last that long….

A bit of fun: The Towel Dance

http://www.flixxy.com/towel-comedy-act-by-les-beaux-freres..htm

This U tube video shows the French at their best with Cirque du Soleil performers Les Beaux Freres at the French TV show, ‘The World’s Greatest Cabaret’, hosted by Patrick Sebastien.

Book Review: ‘The Rosie Project’ Graeme Simsion

‘The Rosie Project’ Graeme Simsion 

At the moment I am reading ‘The Rosie Project’ which has had me laughing out loud! If you feel like something light but well written, this is the book for you. The protagonist is Don, a highly intelligent professor of genetics, and although he’s not aware of it, he has Asperger’s Syndrome. This story presents many delightful insights into the world of someone who sees things in a literal way without being able to read the subtleties of facial expressions.

He would dearly like to find a wife; so he prepares a sixteen- page questionnaire, The Wife Project is born. This is just the beginning, it develops with the help of his friend, a barmaid, a smoker, a drinker; someone who definitely doesn’t tick all the boxes. Predictable, maybe, but definitely a fun read.

The author, Graeme Simsion, is from Melbourne and he’s written plays, short stories and two non-fiction books. ‘The Rosie Project’ is his first novel and won the 2012 Victorian Premier’s Literary Award for an unpublished manuscript. It is published by textpublishing.com.au