Proud by Michelle W. When was the last time someone told you they were proud of you?
This is an interesting topic because when I was young, parents kept their feelings to themselves. It wasn’t that we felt neglected. Even telling a child that they loved them reminds me of the writing rule: ‘Show don’t tell.’
So we were shown that we were cherished in practical ways. Mothers generally stayed home, and therefore were there to cook meals for the family and keep everything in order. Mum sewed dresses for me. We were read to and with no TV, families talked. My parents were not demonstrative. Hugs were restricted for the odd occasion when children might return after a holiday away, or a kiss on the cheek before going to bed was the norm.
So as far as expressing ‘I’m proud of you!’, it would have been unspoken. Very different from the way children are brought up now.
Thinking back, my parents probably didn’t even express their pride in their sons who did achieve with their scholastic achievements. Being a late bloomer, I didn’t complete my university studies until I was in my forties. My mother did shown pleasure in this, especially as I gained tenure in a permanent teaching position. This did please her.
My children are far more able to express their feelings and they may have said they were proud of me, though I can’t remember. They were all delighted when I had, ‘Lily’s Wish’, my first book published. So I do believe in ‘Show’, but I can’t help break the rule and ‘Tell’ my children that I’m proud of them, occasionally.
My most precious thing, that fills me with most joy, is my library.
In fact it is our library. Religiously we go to the Hastings Library on the Mornington Peninsula where the friendly staff welcome us. It’s a small library by city standards. Books can be ordered from the bigger libraries, and the books get recycled between four libraries.
When I am not blogging, yes, I do have another life. Gardening, cooking, ironing, allow me to listen to audio books. Chris listens to stories as he paints. We are then able to discuss which ones we think are successful and why the others don’t come up to scratch.
We have discovered many genres previously unexplored. If we don’t like them we just start another. Popular choices are often crime fiction, from the gentle Donna Leon stories set in Venice, to popular Patricia Cornwell and many in between. Books of course are a separate bedtime activity. We read till we can’t keep our eyes open and allow the soporific effect to take us to an exciting dream world that we both fully participate in.
Without books our world would be quite colourless. (sorry, we Australians still like to use ‘u’ in some of our words).
It was with great pleasure I read the article written by Barney Zwartz in The Age, 27.12.13, with the article, ‘ Healing starts with fresh blood at the top.’
Having written to Cardinal Pell and received a patronizing response, I had resolved to refrain from writing again to ask him to answer my question. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to give his Companion of the Order of Australian (AC) back? His response that he was ‘deeply moved by the suffering of victims of sexual abuse’ belies his arrogance in allowing it to continue. His many copies of pages from the Royal Commission did not answer my question.
Barney Zwartz has the right idea: remove both the Archbishops in Melbourne and Sydney, to allow a fresh, more believable approach to help those who have been afflicted by sexual abuse in the Catholic Church to restore their faith. Surely pride is a quality that is a hinderance. Finding more humble replacements would no doubt please most parishioners and rejuvenate the church.
Thank you to Barney Zwartz for his thought provoking and well written article.