Moral or aphorism? Aunty Barbara

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get
their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.

Ashley said, ‘My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying
hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the
front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all
the eggs got broken.’

‘What’s the morale of that story?’ asked the teacher.

‘Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!’

‘Very good,’ said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, ‘Our family are farmers
too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a
dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and
the moral to this story is, ‘Don’t count your chickens before
they’re hatched’.’

‘That was a fine story Sarah.’

Michael, do you have a story to share?’
‘Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Barbara. Aunty
Barbara was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her
plane got hit.

She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a
bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then
she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.

She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out
of bullets.

Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke.
And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.’

‘Good heavens,’ said the horrified teacher, ‘what kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from that horrible story?’

‘Don’t mess with Aunty Barbara when she’s pissed.

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