Language and inconsistencies:

      Ponder  on these imponderables for a  minute:-

1. If you take an  Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he  become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called  Poles, why aren’t people from
Holland called Holes?

3.  Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy  adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it  disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie  so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money  called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken,  what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano  called a pianist but a person
who drives a racing car not  called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise  guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean  opposite things?

11. Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced  onety one?

12. ‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence  in the English language.

Could it be that ‘I do’ is the  longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and  clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow
that electricians can  be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models  deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners  depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the  driver’s license’s of bald men?

15. I thought about how  mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks  so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?  Toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals  up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to  them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage  stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver  the mail?

17. You never really learn to swear until  you learn to drive.

18. No one ever says, ‘It’s  only a game’ when their team is winning.

19. Ever wonder  about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on  those
little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian  backwards: NAIVE

20. Isn’t making a  smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section  in a swimming pool?

21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER  from diarrhea , does that mean that one enjoys  it?

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